Love: A Necessity or Something Overrated?

Love.

A feeling I didn’t think important.

An ingredient I didn’t think necessary.

A guest I considered uninvited.

All the novels I read, all the poems I hummed, all the songs I heard, they talked about the same thing.

They said love is important, necessary, invited. But weren’t they all written by people in love?

People who had experienced it. Experienced the worry, the hurry, the confusion, the confession, the unease and yet the peace when in it.

It was these people who said it was important.

But I didn’t think so.

For me, it was all a fairytale. All in the books, all in the lyrics.

One did not need it.

I did not need it.

Not really.

I was doing fine without it.

I would do fine without it.

Love must have minded.

You see love and life are buddies.

They don’t like when one is ignored.

They team up.

They teach the other person you are wrong.

Sometimes they do that by giving a person love.

And sometimes, they give you what you want.

They give you a loveless relationship.

They give you what you want.

They put you in a position to decide.

They give you the ball and they give you the court.

They give you the recipe and take away unnecessary ingredients from the table.

They give you the party invites but remove the ones for uninvited guests.

They tell you to love the way you want, how you want. Or rather, not love.

But it is then you realize that what you want is fun, what you like is the unexpected, you find out you like surprises, you like the new taste, the drama of uninvited guests. The masala of life.

While it is true that falling in love teaches you of its value, it is also true that being in a loveless relationship, you learn its value with the same, if not more, intensity.

It was then I realized. I am exactly like those fools.

OR maybe I am a bigger fool because at least those fools fight for it having experienced its euphoria.

I love it without even having a taste of it.

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What If

As I hung out on the terrace, a crow came towards me

Since the sun had quite not risen

he started asking questions

He told me there is a look in my eye that he can’t quite read

Its as if you are haunted, what could possibly haunt thee?

Is it me? It has to be the cat.

Is it me or the cat?

No, I laughingly said,

Is it the vampires or Zombies? It could be neither.

Is it the darkness, I heard you say that once?

Is it the prickly leaf.

Or is it the ghost that watches you sleep?

But wait a second, you were scared when you went to Charna

What scared thee?

Was it the sea? Was it the cliff?

Neither. It was the ‘what if’.

Its always been what if.

What if the crow takes my eye? What if the cat bites?

What if the vampires start glowing or the zombies never die

What if the darkness comes and never leave?

What if the ghost is actually scary?

What if there is a shark in the sea

or what if the water drowns me?

What if I lose my Netflix password?

What if movies could take you to other worlds?

What if songs could solve your problems?

What if I had become a doctor?

What if I had become a pilot?

What if I had travelled with all my might,

Met a few ghosts and dealt with my fright?

What if I had learnt how to write and paint?

What if I had left the world and become a saint?

How different life could be, I’ll never know.

So, No. The haunting bit was not the cliff!

As the crow stayed silent and the sun came up, I knew

‘What if’ will always be ‘What if’

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Zard Zamano ka Sawera aka Misogyny

I watched ‘Zard Zamano ka Sawera’. The beginning was so wonderful. So fresh. The girl (Rubab) is rebellious, full of life, happy-go-lucky kind. The guy (Mir) falls for the girl the first time he sees her. Unfortunately, he is a police officer and so the next time he sees her is in the police station accused of a crime (which she did not commit).

Circumstances unfold in such a way that the two get married without knowing they are getting married to each other (everyday life in Pakistan). Mir realizes this after getting married. Since he had built a negative opinion about her ever since she was accused, he decides to use this as an opportunity to torture her all he wants (the girl loses all her rebelliousness) and make her reveal the name of the gang leader involved in the crime(WHICH SHE CAN’T DO BECAUSE SHE FRIGGIN’ DOESN’T KNOW!).

As I watched the drama, I loved the novel it was based on. So I went back to where I first read the novel. Found it. Read it again.

The novel was full of misogyny. And just today I had this realization that I am unusually attracted to and surrounded by misogyny.

I was in a misogynistic relationship myself. I would treat the other entity as an OBJECT and yet I never heard any complaints. I would torture. And yet I would be greeted with blessings.

Good Morning

Have a nice day

Hope you have a fun day

I would ridicule and he would take it all without any retort.

And then when you take something for granted and its taken away from you, you realize how important they were for you. How complete they made your life.

That happened.

The eyes slowly closed. There was a flash of multiple colours. Maybe, as they say, your whole life is shown to you at that moment, maybe that happened. There was a lot of red colour. Maybe it was all the torturous moments I ignited.

But it all ended with everything going black. I went into shock for 2 whole hours for a relationship of 2 complete years.

In those two hours, I could only think about ways I could have been better .

Until my dad’s voice broke my trance

Him: No crying over spilt milk now. Just buy another phone but this time forget Iphone. Go for Galaxy or something cheaper!

 

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